Development over Consolation | Nerd Health

Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the Sweet firm).

At some point, his boss pulled him into an workplace and stated one thing that modified his life:

“Stephen, you’re about to get promoted.”

Usually a trigger for celebration, this was as a substitute meant as a warning by his boss.

In a previous life, Stephen had been a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He additionally spent his evenings writing songs.

His boss knew Stephen was a rattling good songwriter, and the place he actually belonged.

He informed Stephen concerning the golden handcuffs:

“You’re in line for a promotion and so they’re grooming you for the following stage.

And also you’re form of at a crossroads.

As a result of for those who take [the promotion], like I took it 30 years in the past, your desires of being a songwriter, they’re gonna be gone. That is going to devour each little bit of you.

Proper now you’ll be able to write songs and do that job, however 6 months from now I’m unsure you’re gonna have the ability to. So I simply need to provide you with a warning.”

That tiny voice in Stephen’s head, that had been there for years and years, began to get louder.

6 weeks later, with that internal voice now at a deafening quantity, he put in his 2 weeks discover, which confused everybody (besides his boss and his spouse).

He began bartending and ready tables to make ends meet whereas honing his craft, making an attempt to get publishing offers in nation music…whereas getting rejected for not writing ​“bro nation” songs​:

He was informed, “you write REAL songs. We are able to’t do nuthin’ with that…”

Years later, after some modest success writing songs for different musicians, he lastly labored up the braveness and expertise and clout to start out recording his personal songs.

And final yr, he lastly put out his debut album, Son of Dad, which Rolling Stone known as probably the greatest albums of 2023.

Not too long ago, Stephen put out a ​jaw-dropping cowl of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,”​ which I’ve listened to roughly 10,000 instances over the previous month.

(Critically, please watch this video. It’ll provide you with goosebumps!).

Golden Handcuffs vs Uncomfortable Enlargement

From 2008-2010, I additionally lived a twin life.

I had my day job at Sixthman, serving to promote and produce floating music festivals. However I additionally spent my nights and weekends engaged on slightly web site serving to nerds get match.

My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the enterprise) each knew the place my coronary heart was; they inspired me to chase the uncomfortable way forward for making an attempt to make Nerd Health into my profession.

16 years later, we’re nonetheless going sturdy!

In Oliver Burkeman’s ​4 Thousand Weeks​, he encourages us to ask a particular query when making selections in life:

“The place in your life or your work are you presently pursuing consolation, when what’s known as for is slightly discomfort?”

Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will more than likely lead us in direction of the brief time period, snug, secure choice.

As an alternative, we ought to be pondering which path will make us GROW as an individual, or which model will trigger us to SHRINK every week. We most likely, deep down inside, know the reply to the query, if we’ve the braveness to ask it.

Burkeman’s recommendation:

“Select uncomfortable enlargement over snug diminishment at any time when you’ll be able to.”

Yep, typically chasing “uncomfortable enlargement” doesn’t lead to a songwriting deal, or a profitable enterprise. I’ve chosen the uncomfortable path and typically issues don’t work out. However that’s a part of the method, and a minimum of it removes the potential for unhealthy remorse!

Which brings me to at this time’s mission.

Let’s get snug with being uncomfortable

Let’s chase uncomfortable growth in 2025.

• Once we power prepare, we power our muscle tissues to get uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weight – they reply by rising and adapting.
• If we use meals as a coping mechanism once we’re unhappy or offended or bored, addressing our relationship with meals might be uncomfortable.
• When we’ve uncomfortable conversations, we are able to lastly deepen {our relationships} or get up for the issues which are necessary to us.

In 2025, let’s ask the query:

The place in your life are you snugly dwelling in consolation and security, when deep down you realize the trail of “uncomfortable enlargement” is what you actually need to develop and enable you get what you actually need?

You may not must give up your job instantly, or go all-in on a brand new purpose or change…

But it surely might be price asking your self that uncomfortable query.

Life is tough, and alter is tougher.

Uncomfortable.

Scary.

Messy.

However for those who’re prepared to say NO to consolation, it is likely to be precisely what you want.

-Steve

PS: ​We’re doing a free 5-day workshop​ for individuals who need to construct new habits that truly stick in 2025, it begins in a number of days!