In 1933, an overwhelmed and pissed off lady named Frau despatched a letter to psychologist Carl Jung, asking “find out how to stay.”
(She didn’t have any Instagram influencers to yell motivational platitudes at her, I assume)
Jung replied:
“Your questions are unanswerable, since you wish to know the way one should stay. One lives as one can.
…in the event you do with conviction the following and most crucial factor, you’re at all times doing one thing significant and supposed by destiny.”
He was sharing the important thing to life.
It’s a part of restoration communities like Alcoholics Nameless.
It was even the title of a tune in Disney’s Frozen 2.
“The following proper factor.”
Revisiting this story brought about me to mirror on how a lot my ideas on success and progress have modified through the years.
“Success” Redefined
I’ve been doing this Nerd Health stuff for 15+ years.
Tens of millions of individuals go to the location yearly, 50,000+ clients have purchased stuff by NF, and our coaches have served 15,000+ 1-on-1 purchasers.
In that point, I’ve modified my perspective fairly a bit on “success” and “dwelling properly.”
I used to suppose that the one path to success required militant self-discipline following a particular plan. I by no means missed a exercise, and was unbelievably happy with this.
It didn’t happen to me simply how a lot of a privileged and easy life I lived, the place I used to be 100% in command of my time.
(Apologies to all of the dad and mom and caregivers who learn my 25-year previous perspective!).
Now that I’m 40, and I can see the varieties of folks we truly assist with Nerd Health, I’ve modified my perspective on success and “dwelling properly” pretty dramatically.
Success occurs not once we learn to do every little thing completely, however as an alternative once we get higher at staying afloat even when issues go poorly.
In different phrases, success is studying to be inconsistently constant. Studying to be ok for lengthy sufficient.
And which means, when life appears chaotic, narrowing our focus right down to “the following proper factor.”
Do the Subsequent Proper Factor
A current e-newsletter from creator Oliver Burkeman talked about how he’s chosen to retain a tiny little bit of sanity in an amazing world.
It led me to those sentences from creator Eckert Tolle:
“What you confer with as your “life” ought to extra precisely be known as your “life scenario.” It’s psychological time: previous and future.
…Overlook about your life scenario for some time and take note of your life.
Discover the “slender gate that results in life.” It’s known as the Now.
Slim your life right down to this second. Your life scenario could also be filled with issues — most life conditions are — however discover out when you have any downside at this second. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, however now.
Do you’ve got an issue now?
After we ruminate on what already occurred, and we freak out about all of the issues that might occur or must occur sooner or later…
It’s simple to really feel uncontrolled and overwhelmed.
Which brings us again to that cliché answer: “the following proper factor.”
It’s a cliché solely as a result of it’s true.
We will zoom wayyyyyy in, and slender our focus to one thing that’s nonetheless in our management. In some conditions, sure, there’s a downside proper now. And we are able to simply give attention to that one factor.
However in lots of different conditions, it’s usually us worrying about all the issues that could be, or the issues exterior of our management, that retains us from taking motion on the precise issues we are able to management.
Burkeman continues:
As for telling myself I solely wanted to do the very subsequent factor… you at all times solely can do the very subsequent factor, then the following, whether or not you prefer it or not.
It’s a bit unusual, truly, to confer with any of those methods as “narrowing your horizons”, as in the event that they concerned in some way artificially limiting your self.
Actually, you’re simply consciously recognizing how restricted you at all times already have been.
Everyone knows how simple it’s for us to overcomplicate issues.
And when the world looks like a dumpster fireplace, it might assist to zoom means into that subsequent determination, the tiniest aim, and simply do the following proper factor.
It’d contain a exercise or a stroll, specializing in the following meal, calling up our therapist, or lastly saying no to a dedication.
If “now” is the one time that exists, then “the following proper factor” is the one factor that we are able to actually do.
I’m gonna go do the following proper factor for me: take a stroll.
-Steve
PS: Maria Popova has an incredible writeup about “the following proper factor” because it pertains to her life as a author that impressed this piece.
PPS: Nerd Health is hiring a number of distant, part-time people (particularly with versatile nights and weekends) to take inbound, scheduled calls from potential purchasers about our 1-on-1 teaching. Click on right here to be taught extra.
###
Discussion about this post